Maybe I ought to explain this.
Whenever I hear about any confidentiality breach, my first and most profound reaction is physical. There is a ripping, a very deep tearing sensation someplace in my body. It is a physical place that I don’t know about unless something is very, very wrong. It rips and tears. Then the next thing is a profound and unusual sense of disappointment. Then my head deals with it.
Some times really stick out. Last year there was an especially bad breach of confidentiality by the New England province of Jesuits. Some place in my body ripped and tore very painfully. It grabbed me. I learned a long time ago that I am not special or unique so there are much better descriptions someplace else. It was first a very physical reaction and then a very unusual deep sense of disappointment.
And then it happens again and again and again.
So, later, the cover up of confidentiality breaches and the conspiracies really stick out. They are on a different plane from regular life. I can’t miss them. And I wonder how they can be so stupid about basic things.
Then I am at a hunger strike last year and a vigil this year, and the English language is difficult for Holy Cross higher ups. I give the college a proposal that is clearly marked as a proposal, and Fr. Boroughs has his lawyer write and call it “extortion”. Last year I had a sign that said “Waiting for Fr. Boroughs” and a Jesuit who talked to me said that sign was vulgar, so I asked him which word was vulgar, “waiting”, “for” or “Fr. Boroughs”.
I wonder about all of this sometimes. The weirdness of communication. It was the same problem when I first tried to report the sexual abuse and communication was really bad at Holy Cross even though I used the English language.